Repetition is overrated

Whew. The past few days I think I've repeated myself millions of times. No, I'm not talking to myself. Well I suppose that depends on if he's actually listening in which case I could be talking to myself. This post doesn't really need to make sense does it?

My child, aka He Who Does Not Listen, has been substantially worse the past few days. When he's told to do something he ignores the directive whilst doing other things he's not supposed to be doing, until the point your forced to SHOUT! Well of course he doesn't like shouting, he's all Why are you shouting mommy?! He has this annoying little thing he does where he whines because he wants us to be happy, meaning don't be mad at me. When will he understand? How old will he be when I get to stop blabbering like a drunk wino who's taken too many hits of acid?

So the past few days in our house have been a little noisy. Add on top of that the cat pooping on He Who Does Not Listen's bed. Oh yeah, did I forget to tell ya about that? Our lovely little kitty, who without permission had other lovely little kitties has decided to use Jack's bed as a real life, shit smelling litter box. And the worst part? We thought it was Jack. James and I were more than a little worried that our tummy troubled offspring was pooing in his bed, and for good reason given we've just spent thousands in the emergency room for a bad case of gas! So eventually our scrambled brains worked out that when Jack's not in the house he CAN'T. Poo. In. The. Bed! Yeah. We're just full of win around here.

That leaves Jack in our bed. For two weeks now. Sleep deprivation prevails! The smell, oh holy christ the stench that has inhabited his bedroom is like nothing I've ever smelled before, and I've changed some pretty rank diapers. So my question is this, how do we 1. get rid of the almighty stench and 2. keep the damn cat from shitting all over the bed. So far we've been shutting all the doors to the stairs, but with summer riding our asses we need to be able to put the extractor fan on, and guess where that is, just guess. Go on. YUP upstairs. Absofreaking lootly. (HA HA spell check just had a seizure.)

I wouldn't be surprised if all my posts contain, center around/or are related to shit. Literally. Just so you know. That gives you ample time to run. Fast. Can I come with you? So if anyone has good advice, or just wants to shoot the breeze and talk about un shit related things, preferably un child related too, as I'm pretending I dont have one right now, then just shoot me a message. I'll be the one blubbering in the corner.

Laziness in all it's lazy glory

On Saturday The Parents of the Year (thank you, thank you) took Jack to the DINOSAUR! MUSEUM! Oh yeah, he was excited.

The Children's Museum in Cincinnati are hosting a traveling dinosaur exhibit which, to a four year old boy is mud puddles, candy and cars all rolled into one big scary adventure. And because I'm being so heat induced lazy this week, I've decided to rely on my insanely cute son and post some pictures of him enjoying those prehistoric creatures. Honest, I will actually write something eventually. Probably. Something useful to know about me is that procrastination is my middle name. But not really. Anyways, here ya go.

Here's T-Rex himself.



They all moved around and made noise, so Jack
walked around the whole time like this.


Or this.



Hee Hee.



Finally! Some peace and quiet.

So all in all it was a great trip south. Of course since we were all the way down there we HAD to stop at Jungle Jim's (International Grocery Store) and spend lotsa money. Of course we did.
The liquor section alone could bankrupt us. And the cheese section. Anyways, here are the links for the dinosaur exhibit and Jungle Jim's. See ya later.

http://www.junglejims.com/

http://www.cincymuseum.org/

Toots

Usually every Thursday James and I take Jack to our local Y to go swimming. Jack is like a true fish out of water and especially loves getting out and jumping back in. He can in fact do this several hundred times in one evening. Not ten minutes after getting into the water Jack complains of a tummy ache, okay. Then it gets really bad, so much so that he starts crying. Hard. We take him back to to the locker room to see if we can "relieve" the tummy ache. After a few minutes it seems to get better, and Jack wants to get back in the pool. Right. FIVE minutes after being back in the pool his tummy starts to hurt again. Really bad. Screaming and crying bad. Freaking mommy and daddy the freak out bad.

James and I decide that this is not a normal tummy ache and we need to get to a doctor quick. So we throw our clothes on in the midst of trying to calm Jack down, run out the front door and speed to Childrens Hospital. The whole drive takes about 15 minutes and all the while Jack is screaming and crying in serious pain. We get to the E.R., walk inside, register and sit down to fill out paperwork. Jack has calmed down a little and wants to play with the germ covered toys in the waiting room. Yeah right kid. We're sitting in the waiting room waiting for James to get back from parking the car and suddenly something crawled out of my son's ass and died. Right there.
Right on my lap.

Holy shit! (no pun intended) The stench was like nothing I've ever smelled before, and all of you parents out there know that stenches come with this job. A few seconds later another dead thing falls out. All the warning we got was Pffftt.... James and I looked at each other thinking to ourselves we did NOT just bring our son to the E.R. for a bad case of GAS! That my friends, is a parenting Fail. Of the highest regard. We decide to stay and have him checked out just to be on the safe side. By now Jack is perfectly happy and giggling. Mommy is cursing in her head and daddy is sighing. Four hours and 2 abdominal X-Rays later everything is just dandy (except for the recurring stench). Let this be a lesson to ye parents. I don't know what kind of lesson really, because I would totally run to the E.R. again in the same situation. Anyways, that was our thursday night, was yours any better?