Friday, June 19, 2009


Usually every Thursday James and I take Jack to our local Y to go swimming. Jack is like a true fish out of water and especially loves getting out and jumping back in. He can in fact do this several hundred times in one evening. Not ten minutes after getting into the water Jack complains of a tummy ache, okay. Then it gets really bad, so much so that he starts crying. Hard. We take him back to to the locker room to see if we can "relieve" the tummy ache. After a few minutes it seems to get better, and Jack wants to get back in the pool. Right. FIVE minutes after being back in the pool his tummy starts to hurt again. Really bad. Screaming and crying bad. Freaking mommy and daddy the freak out bad.

James and I decide that this is not a normal tummy ache and we need to get to a doctor quick. So we throw our clothes on in the midst of trying to calm Jack down, run out the front door and speed to Childrens Hospital. The whole drive takes about 15 minutes and all the while Jack is screaming and crying in serious pain. We get to the E.R., walk inside, register and sit down to fill out paperwork. Jack has calmed down a little and wants to play with the germ covered toys in the waiting room. Yeah right kid. We're sitting in the waiting room waiting for James to get back from parking the car and suddenly something crawled out of my son's ass and died. Right there.
Right on my lap.

Holy shit! (no pun intended) The stench was like nothing I've ever smelled before, and all of you parents out there know that stenches come with this job. A few seconds later another dead thing falls out. All the warning we got was Pffftt.... James and I looked at each other thinking to ourselves we did NOT just bring our son to the E.R. for a bad case of GAS! That my friends, is a parenting Fail. Of the highest regard. We decide to stay and have him checked out just to be on the safe side. By now Jack is perfectly happy and giggling. Mommy is cursing in her head and daddy is sighing. Four hours and 2 abdominal X-Rays later everything is just dandy (except for the recurring stench). Let this be a lesson to ye parents. I don't know what kind of lesson really, because I would totally run to the E.R. again in the same situation. Anyways, that was our thursday night, was yours any better?

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